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The Mysterious BulgeHigh above the broken body of the caretaker, a very fat Pins sits back down at his throne and claps his hands. Three sprites flutter across to him holding a huge grape and begin feeding the glutton. Life is very good for the little fella, sat in a little palace made between the floor boards of the guild. He sits up and claps his tiny hands again and the female sprites disappear straining with a large grape pip each. Through the same hole comes an elderly sprite with a scroll and informs Pins of his current wealth at the expense of Moorgate. "Four hundred, thousand, million, six hundred and seventy eight thousand, two hundred and twenty two gold pieces oh great berserker king of Moorgate Pins" Pins has no idea of course what this means but it does sound awfully impressive and begins rubbing his pudgey hands together and shouting horray. The old sprite smiles thinly and coughs. "There is still the problem of the weight sire. The guild's rafters are beginning to sink more and more, day by day. These floorboards were never intended to take a marble ziggauraght, numerous statues, the palace and its inhabitants and of course one fifth of all Moorgate's gold. Something needs to be done." The king loses his temper and slams his fist down on the armrest of the chair, sending a loud crack from below.
"You not call Pins fat!"
A low groaning and twisting noise, accompanied by numerous cracks and groans comes from below again. The elderly sprite looks horrified and quickly zips through the knot in the floor. "Come back here! Pins not finished with you yet, old fart!" With a heave of effort he pushes himself off the throne, he waddles on unsteady feet down the steps of his throne room, towards the knot in the floor. As he stands in front of the hole wondering how a two inch wide hole will fit a three inch wide sprite, a tremor knocks him from his feet, wedging him into the gap. Finally it dawns on the fat sprite that the old man was right. The palace was going to fall. Worse yet, the palace was going to fall in the next few minutes and he was stuck in a hole with little chance of escape. A serving sprite flies past Pins' head with a large toffee wrapper sack and he shouts to her, begging for help. The servant sighs and dips into the sack and smears some butter she was saving onto Pins' waist. "Pins still stuck! Help Pins!" She grins at him "Gladly sire" and promptly begins to jump up and down on his shoulders. Back down on the ground the still undiscovered caretaker, groans and strains open his eyes. Twenty feet above him he can see very faintly, a small, fat pair of legs flailing around, coming from the ceiling. With one arm very much broken, he rubs his eyes with the only free hand and double checks what he is seeing. The bulge is getting bigger and large cracks were appearing and wood splintering under the strain of something very heavy. He screams and tries to crawl away under the nearest table and starts praying to every single immortal that springs to mind as the cracking gets louder. Suddenly deathly silence was all to be heard and the threat appeared to be over. Poking his head out from under the table, the man breathes a sigh of relief and spends a second allowing his pulse to slow down a little. Then without warning the rafters finally gave way and a marble ziggauraght, numerous statues, a palace and four hundred, thousand, million, six hundred and seventy eight thousand, two hundred and twenty two gold pieces came crashing to the deck. Within seconds the four hundred, thousand, million, six hundred and seventy eight thousand, two hundred and twenty two gold pieces were scooped up by Moorgate's thieves, quickly followed by the pretty little statuettes and dolls house, leaving only two rusty daggers and a very fat sprite on the ground wailing about his misfortune as he watched his many wives flying away with packed suitcases.
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